Girls lie when they say size doesn’t matter. IT DOES. Customize your dream slut and get her ready to take on the BIGGEST dicks the world has ever seen!
Japanese girl destroys both physics & my expectations of all sub-97 lb females at the same time. I officially want to be the first American to lend our "Home of the Brave" slogan out to East Asia. Azumi just earned it.
Intrusion 10:05. And whats our guys reaction? Going on his ashamed costar. Don't feel too bad as I just beat off to the 8 seconds of your howler monkey mother.
One of few videos left in the wake of the walking disaster known as JewDank. A degenerate adventure filled with drugs, deception and calling out girls that fuck their dogs. Catch up on the full history . Fap again .
She seems like a nice girl. The type that would throw herself off a post office rooftop if you missed her text, or fuck the mailman's chihuahua if your Instagram pic got 0 likes. But her taste in recreational activities? Shit, I've seen happier faces cleaning toilets at the Renaissance Fair. 
Almost 12 years ago an anonymous internet user asked the world for help, but in a strange twist of fate achieved a status of legendary hero that hasn't been matched since those brief moments on 5/6/7. Nevar Forget.
Original casting videos
Admittedly an Internet classic by every definition, so chances are you've already squeezed a hog or 3 to this unfaithful slootanany. But I've never seen this edit before so release the pigs and let's retrojack again for old times sake. Full story Original edit
Step 1: Have the genetics of a Ugandan warrior Step 2: The good mustard Step 3: Repeat
I don't know what's more impressive: An actual accurate title on a user-uploaded porn site or him going all 9 minutes without asking Yahoo answers where the clitoris is. Back to Runescape, Edwin.
Dare to use your pocket change to encourage these females and you'll usually be rewarded with disappointment. Or more seizures than an epileptic with a fast pass to Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey. REASON: Bitches be fakin. SPOILER: These ones aren't. .
You know at one point in time her dirt tulip at full pucker was still smaller than the cock of an Eskimo in January. I want to know where that footage is. And more importantly, the followup video of John McAfee announcing her as his running mate for 2020?
Did Mark McGrath admit to being a pedophile? Did a feminist bassist fist rape a minor? Why is Eve 6 throwing lunch meat at a hooker? Buffalo Billy? IDFK but I killed 50 bucks for this rare VHS on eBay and I have zero regrets. Shitty Cut versions and .
Let's hope professor JAV is better at making up hacker stories than he is at organizing playlists. 'cause after 30 seconds of this I'm sure it's adios tenure, and hello Alex Jones interview.
Her claim to fame is deplorable... but when the clothes come off her barbarian hips look like they can survive giving birth to Danny Devito and it's fuckin' beautiful. 5/5 Yelp stars, would eat again.
I'm all for refusing to spend the extra $7.00 on a 3 pack of Magnums, but for real: if she doesn't start scouting better company eventually she'll end up on Maury Povich... and then it's "MISSION FAILED" a la Metal Gear Solid.
Hefty LGBTQA+3.14 troglodyke gets last nights Hungry Man dinner ejected out of her after trying to post up on the wrong block. Lesson Learned: When it comes to esophageal tolerance, don't mess with the black people.
1. 2. Speilberg 3. Coppola
Looks like someone crossbred Rosario Dawson with a howler monkey and gave it rabies. But this isn't for the lulz... more about awareness. You honestly don't even need video for this. The soundtrack alone is enough to keep my Bugle Boy cut-offs on the rinse cycle. 
Pigs flying, A Manson Family Hanukkah special & Clean underwear after all-you-can-eat Chinese food. These are all things I expected to see long before a man that has mastered the art of hands-free ejacs. Next time do it into the palm of a guy named Carlos. It's called the Puerto Rican Panhandle, I invented it.
Would be so kind as to turn the soundbyte at 0:24 into their next banger? That's the kind of collaboration that can fuel my beat-off sessions all the way into spring. More Woodman and . 
This is ridiculous. Not 'haha-ridiculous' like a slab of society identifying as non-binary lesbian toaster strudel. Dude has zero reaction to strangers stuffing his girl like a Walmart ham, and here I am just waiting for David Attenborough's explanation as to why.
LIFE LESSON #186: If your poker face is weaker than the walls of Alec Baldwin's rectum - stay the fuck out of the side-chick game. Last time I saw this level of angst in a female, I had to translate "yes, nickles are so a currency" into English for a Sudanese hooker. (thx Alexa)
What's hung like a Clydesdale and knows less words than a Pokemon? He's known simply as , and 37 states require a permit to walk around with that fucking thing in public. 
I can't imagine how many family gatherings have been derailed thanks to the conversation that followed wearing one of these beauties to dinner. How the fuck are you supposed to multitask keeping grandma vertical AND explain ? Spoiler alert: You can't. A choice must be made.